just tell him i said nine months
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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