I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
