What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
