the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
