Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
