this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
where are my eyebrows?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize