Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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