If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
