2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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