Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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