You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize