ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
