Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
But break dance skills will only take you so far
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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