Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
