I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
