I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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