The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
