her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
