where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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