dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
