woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
