Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
