She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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