he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I FOUND THE LEGS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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