Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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