she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
