is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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