Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
