also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
