Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize