best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
