All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
