Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
