"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think my moral compass just broke
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