That's intense
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
