I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
