Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
