Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
