Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
