after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize