I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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