I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
