well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
