ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
