you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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