I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
