I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize