my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
