hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
