biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
