Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
