LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
