How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize