what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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