12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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