i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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