Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
