as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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