she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
