You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize